Hyouka Drama CD 1 – Hyouka World Theater: Cinderella10 min read
Hyouka Drama CD Vol. 1
Track 5- Hyouka World Theater: Cinderella
Satoshi: Once upon a time, in a place somewhere, there was a very happy *clears throat* super energy-saving, easily bothered woman.
Satoshi: The one who lives a very dull life filled with sarcasm is called Cinderella.
Houtaoru: That’s a really mean thing to say.
Satoshi: Geez, Houta— that’s not it— Cinderella, don’t you think it’s rather rude when you talk to the narrator?
Off-screen Voice: Cinderella! Cinderella!
Satoshi: See? Your sister’s waiting for you.
Houtarou: I’ll remember this for later, Satoshi.
Houtarou: I’m right here. What’s wrong?
Haba: So that’s where you were, Cinderella. Why didn’t you come quickly after I called you?
Satoshi: She is the intrus— the sophisticated third daughter, Haba-oneesama.
Haba: Just now, you were about to say intrusive, weren’t you?
Satoshi: What do you mean?
Haba: Who are you anyways?
Satoshi: I’m the narrator.
Haba: Why is the narrator next to Cinderella? Well, that doesn’t matter. Cinderella, come and make this.
Houtarou: What is this?
Haba: Can’t you tell from looking at it? That’s no good! No, that’s not impossible. This dress— (continues in the background)
Houtarou: Hey, Satoshi, can’t I go home already?
Satoshi: No, Houta—that’s not it—Cinderella, if the leading act isn’t here, we won’t be able to continue with the story.
Houtarou: But I’m already tired of everyone picking on me.
Satoshi: They do seem a bit bossy.
Haba: Do you understand, Cinderella?
Houtarou: Ah, yes, I understand, Haba-oneesama.
Haba: I’ll leave it to you then.
Sawakiguchi: What was that, what was that? Cinderella, did Haba-oneesama give you something to do?
Satoshi: She is the free-willed second daughter, Sawakiguchi-oneesama.
Sawakiguchi: Cinderella, Narrator-san, ciao!
Sawakiguchi: Whatever shall we do with you, Cinderella? People will wonder how we maintain our status if the place isn’t clean.
Houtarou: As always, you’re walking over people who have tons of obligations, huh.
Satoshi: That’s true. *to self* You’re the number one person who’d want to quickly exit the scene in order to get the story over with.
Sawakiguchi: Once again, you two, ciao!
Sawakiguchi: I wonder if I have anything for you to do as well. What should I go with… Crap! It’s already four o’clock! I have to go watch something on TV!
Houtarou: The whole world doesn’t need to know all of that.
Sawakiguchi: See you guys later!
Nakajou: What is the meaning of this!?
Satoshi: She is the eldest daughter, Nakajou-oneesama. She’s an overly-exaggerated kind of person.
Nakajou: Cinderella! Didn’t I tell you to clean the cabinet!?
Houtarou: I did.
Nakajou: Look at this! This one corner right here, it’s so clumsily attempted! Hey, hey! Weren’t you supposed to start by mopping the floor?
Houtarou: Start by?
Nakajou: Put your back into it.
Houtarou: I don’t really understand. Could you show me your hand for a bit?
Nakajou: Huh? Tch, if it can’t be helped. Take a good look—UUUOOOOOOOOHHHH *flies off*
Houtarou: Okay. Should we move on, Satoshi?
Satoshi: You just forcibly removed him huh, Houtarou?
Houtarou: To the exaggerated Nakajou-senpai, I salute you! …Hm? *thinking* If the mean stepsisters are played by those guys, don’t tell me the stepmother is…
Irisu: Hey! You girls!
Houtarou: *thinking* As I expected!
Satoshi: She is Irisu-okaasama. She is a person that personifies an empress.
Haba: What is it, Irisu-okaasama?
Sawakiguchi: Geez, I was in the middle of watching something.
Nakajou: What’s up?
Irisu: Tonight, the Castle is throwing a Ball. The three of you shall be attending it with me.
Nakajou: Is that true? Maybe they’re going to pick a bride for the prince, huh, Haba?
Haba: Hmn, Nakajou-oneesama, what are you saying? It’s not a maybe, they’ve already decided on choosing!
Sawakiguchi: There’s going to be a feast huh? Will it be fancy, or a full-course meal?!
Irisu: By the way Cinderella, what are you doing here? How about you quickly get down on your knees and clean the floor?
Satoshi: Wow, that’s Irisu-senpai all right! She’s really in character!
Houtarou: It’s because she takes her responsibilities seriously.
Irisu: What are you two whispering about? Go on, lick the floor until it’s clean!
Houtarou: *sigh* Oh yeah, it’s not ‘Empress’, it’s ‘Lady’.
Irisu: Hmm? Is there a difference?
Houtarou: There is.
Irisu: Hm. I understand. I’ll get back at you next time for this mistake just now. Cinderella, without any remorse, I will show you bloodshed!
Houtarou: Ya, ya, ya! What do you plan on doing!?
Irisu: Well then, you girls, let’s go to the ball.
Satoshi: And thus, the sisters left Cinderella to go to the ball. Left all alone, Cinderella was sad and burst into tears.
Satoshi: Cinderella was sad and burst into tears…Come on, Cinderella, start crying.
Houtarou: I can’t force a cry. I’d rather think about other people’s happiness!
Eba: We can’t proceed until you start crying.
Satoshi: The Fairy Godmother has appeared.
Eba: I came as soon as you called me. The Fairy Godmother, Eba.
Houtarou: Nobody called you. You were dragged into this too?
Eba: I didn’t really want to but…Hongou insisted.
Satoshi: Although Cinderella is troubled, neither of them seem into it.
Eba: I’ll play along for now. So Cinderella, do you want to go to the Ball?
Houtarou: No I do not.
Eba: I see, I’ll be on my way.
Satoshi: Eba-senpai, please stop!
Eba: What is it? Please do not pull on my robe.
Satoshi: You can’t let it end like this!
Houtarou: I have no problem with that at all!
Satoshi: Cinderella, be quiet!
Eba: Hmmm, now we are in a pickle.
Satoshi: Anyway! Eba-senpai, help Cinderella get ready for the ball!
Eba: …Understood. “O’ Ancient Darkness, take heed of my plea…”
Houtarou: Something incredible’s brewing…
Eba: “…bring misfortune and doom to these two, then destroy everything!”
Houtarou: H-hey! She just said “destroy”!!
*Satoshi and Houtarou Yell*
Houtarou: *cough cough* That was amazing! Oh, look how frilly it is!
Satoshi: That dress really suits you, Cinderella.
Houtarou: …Satoshi…you’re a horse…
Satoshi: …So it seems…My role now is the horse. Er, huh? What about the carriage?
Eba: I’ll be leaving now.
Satoshi: W-w-wait! Eba-senpai, stop!
Eba: What now? And do not touch my robe.
Satoshi: But without a horse-drawn coach, how’re we supposed to get to and from the castle?
Eba: Mm. Without any pumpkin to use, my spell could only use up whatever handy items were in the house.
Houtarou: Your magic is flawed!
Eba: You selfish peasants.
Satoshi: You call US bad?
Eba: It can’t be helped. Please wait just a moment. This is a broken box, but once you put it into the cauldron…
Houtarou: Hey, don’t tell me that’s sorcery from the ancients?
-Transported to the Castle-
Satoshi: …We’ve made it to the castle right, Cinderella?
Houtarou: Ah…I didn’t think that spell was gonna work…
Satoshi: What…was the point of turning me into a horse…?
Houtarou: Good question, Satoshi.
Satoshi: That aside, there sure are a lot of attendees here aren’t there. Oh, look. It’s Haba-oneesama.
Haba: What? Hongou won’t be attending? I thought she would…
Houtarou: Haba clearly wants to see her.
Houtarou and Satoshi: Hopeless.
Houtarou: Oh? Is that Ibara over there?
Satoshi: The king of this Castle, King Mayaka.
Houtarou: You’re still continuing the narration?
Satoshi: It’s hard playing two roles.
Mayaka: Fuku-chan! …And…Cinderella…I didn’t really want to see you.
Houtarou: You don’t have to be so blunt about it.
Satoshi: By the way, King Mayaka, where is Lady Eru?
Mayaka: Just a sec. Chi-chan!!
Chitanda: Did you call for me, Mayaka-sa-*gasp*! Oreki-san…what is that dress you’re wearing?
Satoshi: She said it now…
Mayaka: Wonderful isn’t it, Cinderella? There’s someone here who’s troubled by your dress…
Houtarou: Hrn…damn you!
Chitanda: Uhm…uh…it suits you..
Houtarou: Please don’t pity me with your comments, Chitanda.
Chitanda: Oh, I see. Well, welcome to the castle! I am the Prince, Chitanda Eru.
Houtarou: And I’m the Happy Cinderella.
Satoshi: And I’m the Horse! As well as the Narrator.
Mayaka: How did you become a horse, Fuku-chan?
Satoshi: A certain someone cast a spell on me. But it kind of backfired on us.
Mayaka: What do you mean?
Houtarou: We’re out of time! It’s midnight! Okay, Chitanda. Let me give you this.
Chitanda: What a pretty glass slipper!
Mayaka: You’re giving it up way too willingly. “Lose” it properly!
Houtarou: Leave me alone.
Chitanda: Then Cinderella-san, may destiny allow us to meet again someday.
Houtarou: Chitanda, quit spoiling it for the audience. See ya!
Satoshi: Thus, Cinderella, before the magic wore off, left the Castle.
Houtarou: Hey, Satoshi. How are we going to get home from here?
Satoshi: Ah, Eba-sempai left me with a feather-shaped item. It’s inside my pocket…
Houtarou: You’re a horse right now…Where would your pocket be…?
Satoshi: *laughs* I don’t have one!!
Houtarou: You idiot!
Satoshi: I’m just the horse!
Houtarou: THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT IT!
Satoshi: And so, on the next day at Cinderella’s house, a present from the Castle arrived at the door.
Chitanda: Oh, Fukube-san, sorry but uhm, we didn’t have any presents so we just came here in person. It’s not really a present but Mayaka and I did make something.
Satoshi: Ah. Let me rephrase this then…Prince Eru and King Mayaka are at the door..
Chitanda: Thank you very much.
Sawaguchi: Irisu-okaasama, who’s at the door? Oh, the King and the Prince!
Haba: They must’ve come to offer me a marriage proposal.
Nakajou: Not a chance, Haba. That proposal is for me of course.
Mayaka: We’re looking for the one who dropped this at the Castle yesterday. She has caught the Prince’s curiosity.
Chitanda: I’m curious!!
Irisu: Oh? What do you think, girls?
Sawakiguchi: Huh? Did I drop that? What about you, Haba?
Haba: Hmph. Of course not. What about you, Nakajou-oneesama?
Nakajou: Huh? Mine? I wonder…
Houtarou: Oh, that’s mine.
Chitanda: Ahh, so this belongs to Cinderella-san. Here! It’s a sundew! [t/n: carnivorous plant]
Houtarou: That’s not mine!
Chitanda: It isn’t?
Houtarou: It’s not. Do you really not have anything else?
Chitanda: Well, how about this? A venus flytrap!
Houtarou: I’m not touching that! Chitanda, don’t you have a more appropriate item?
Chitanda: An item… Ah, it’s this right? A pitcher plant!
Houtarou: That’s the same as the last one! Why do you only have insectivores?
Chitanda: But these are the only things left back at the Castle.
Houtarou: Who the hell would forget all that stuff? Come on, Chitanda…I gave you something yesterday, didn’t I?
Chitanda: Maybe it’s…this glass slipper?
Houtarou: That’s it! Why didn’t you bring that out sooner?
Chitanda: The person who gave it to me was much more sparkling in appearance.
Mayaka: And the Cinderella we have here is a street-rat. Well, the story had to be changed when you altered that one scene.
Houtarou: *Annoyed sound*
Chitanda: You may have it back, Cinderella.
Houtarou: Alright, with this, I can get this farce over with.
Chitanda: Huh? Oh, there was one more lost item at the Castle. Look at this.
Houtarou: OH…that feather-like item…impossible…!!
Satoshi: That’s the thing we dropped yesterday!
Houtarou: W-wait, Chitanda! Don’t use it!
Satoshi and Houtaoru: UUUAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH~
Satoshi: And so, Cinderella and the Narrator were sent off into the distance, on a journey looking for a way to return home.
Houtarou: I can’t take any more of this. I’m so sleepy…